I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
