Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
