I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
