so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
