I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
