Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
