I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize