On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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