They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
