If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How naked do you want me to be?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
