hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
