If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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