this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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