I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
