let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
