Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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