the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
