Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
