I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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