no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
