I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
