Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
