Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
