no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
