I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
