You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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