White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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