Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm both gender and math confused
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
