I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
