Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize