He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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