I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
