Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize