The maid of honor just puked.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
