Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
