some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have fence marks all over my body
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
