he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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