Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How does one acquire holy water?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
