Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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