Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
