im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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