Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
