Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
