I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
