Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
