return my video game
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
