you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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