I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize