Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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