At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
