Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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