Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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