So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
