so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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