Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
