So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
