How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
