i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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