i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize