foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
