I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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