So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize